Mark had his imperfections, but I’m glad; that way it was never boring, nor was there ever a dull moment. I’ll never forget the time he came home from his first football practice. Of course he did not take his pads off, he probably slept in ‘em, But he ran to the basement as soon as he got home only to drag me out, waiting to practice everything he learned that day. He threw me our couch pillow, which at the time was as big as me. And so I’m sitting there, peering over the top of the pillow, only to realize that Mark is getting into his football stance, commanding me to say “hike”. By this time I can see what’s going to happen, causing me to grasp the pillow even tighter, like somehow this was going to prepare me for what was about to happen. Scared out of mind, I squeal out what barely takes the shape of hike. I closed my eyes, gripped the pillow even harder, and felt myself soar at least ten feet back. But luckily the wall broke my fall. I have forever left my mark on that wall, or at least an elbow shaped one. Cradling my arm, which was later covered in a bruise, and actually in shock of what just happened, I find Mark hovering over me only to say how he must be a natural at football.

To be honest it’s the little things that I will remember about my big brother. Those special moments, those imperfections, are going to keep me on the path that my brother is from now on, going to help me walk. Though I know I will have a wealth of hard times ahead, Mark will give me the strength he has always given me to carry on.

Growing up without him there to teach me and to guide me will be daunting. And I know that our earthly relationship is over. But I will not be sad because it’s over, I will be happy because it happened. I will be happy because I knew Mark’s loves, his hates, and his personality. I will be happy and honored to have lived and to have loved Mark Engel, my big brother.

Brad